Open Water

This weekend, I tried something entirely new. I took my workout from the pool to the lake. Every triathlete I talk to warns me about the swim — you’ll get kicked in the head, people will swim over top of you, it’s the hardest part — but I’ve been sticking to my “I’ve been a swimmer all my life, I feel strong in the pool” argument. Well, let me tell you, a bright shiny, lighted/heated pool with lane lines is a far cry from Lake Washington.

My first day out was Friday night and the water was such an awesome relief. We’d been baking in 90 degrees for three days and I couldn’t wait to dive in. I’ve always found swimming to be calming — it’s like my yoga. It’s quiet and peaceful and when you’re training for endurance over speed, its all about even pacing and gliding with efficiency. Even after the most stressful day, an hour in the pool brings everything back to center.

The lake, however, is a little less relaxing. Between boat wake, lake scum and lake grass its hard to tell up from down let alone left for right — am I swimming on course? Am I going in the right direction? Am I going to run into another swimmer?

It’s an entirely different beast. Now imagine all of that surrounded by hundreds of amped-up adrenaline fueled racers!

Okay, to be fair, the above video is from an Ironman competition, where everyone starts at once and our race will start in waves — but I think you get the idea.

Regardless of this new challenge, I loved it. Yes, it was harder than the pool, but did I conquer it? Absolutely (or as a friend recently pointed out — HELL YES). In fact, I was back out there Sunday and did it again (after a 3 mile walk – running is still hurting), this time doing an additional 1/4 mile above and beyond my Friday night swim. It felt amazing. I could literally see/feel the progress from the time before.

This is where I get frustrated. I can see such progress in my swimming. I feel so strong on the bike these days, but I can’t get the running to happen the way I want it to. Whether its pain from shin splints or a mental block, I don’t know, but I think I need help. One-on-one help.

As much as I love the team experience, I have to be honest, I don’t feel a lot of support from them when it comes to struggling with something the way I’m struggling with running. I feel a lot of judgment (either real or perceived) as well as the attitude of “just try.” I am trying, I have tried. It hurts. So, I need a new strategy, a new game plan. Because the “beat myself up until I give up” plan is certainly not working.

Yes, I know I can walk the 6 miles if I have to. But I’d like to give it a try. I’d like to have the skill set to make it happen. Can anybody offer some ideas? I’m asking!

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Hot Child in the City

The entire country (except LA) is baking under the glare of the sun, some more than others (sorry NY), and Seattle is no exception. Summer has finally arrived. And while it may have been late, it’s here with a vengeance.

Perfect timing for picking up the workout intensity, right?

Well, regardless of the soaring temps, as a Seattliete, I refuse to complain about the warm weather. Even when I’m dripping in sweat and running loads of workout clothes in the laundry every other night. Even when hills on the bike will feel like trudging through marmalade. Even when running feels like trying to keep pace in a sauna. Even then.

For some reason I see lots of swimming in the days to come. In fact, it’s the perfect weather for my first attempt at an open water swim, right?

I’ve often said to visitors, naysayers and those fighting the affects of S.A.D. that one sunny, clear blue sky day in Seattle makes up for 30 rainy, cloud-covered days — and I stand by that. It’s weeks like this where you look around a realize what a beautiful place we live in.

Suddenly, being an active cycling- running -swimming-type of person makes the gorgeous-ness of this area even more apparent. A sunny day doesn’t always call for a beer on a local patio (although of course it sometimes does), it’s now a great day to be on the bike, or even (gasp!) a day that makes running bearable.

Maybe I’ve always felt a little out of place as a Seattliete. I’ve never been a camping enthusiast, kayak fiend or driven a Subaru. I don’t dress like I’m always prepared for a hiking emergency and I would much rather toast a cocktail al fresco on a sunny day than get out and enjoy nature.

But maybe, just maybe, all this exercise and training has brought out the true Seattliete in me. It’s no secret that I love gear and now I’m officially a member of REI. I’ve started to enjoy buying workout clothes as much as dresses and cardigans and believe it or not, I’ve even given up stilettos since the shin splint diagnosis.

Let’s hope I’m not moments away from pairing wool socks with Tevas and putting a bike rack on my sporty car. At least not until next season.

Days to go: 65

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Independence

I hope everyone had an amazing Fourth of July. I had one of my best three-day weekends to date and for the first time in all my years in Seattle had plans to be on a boat in Lake Union. It may have rained, but at least we were there! Not to mention I logged over 50 miles on the bike this weekend!

While our country was busy drinking beer, BBQing and blowing things up, I found myself thinking about independence, co-dependence and finding a balance between the two. As I get deeper into training and closer and closer to September 12th, I’ve discovered that sharing your goal with so many people is both a blessing and a curse. When you share what you’re working on you open yourself up to everyone’s opinion.

Now this is by no means an all out negative thing. I’ve talked at length about how there have been times when I wouldn’t have put one foot in front of the other without all the amazing support I’ve received, here on this blog and from my friends and family through voicemails, emails, and texts. It’s invaluable.

It’s also a bit of a crutch. (If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? If Jaci doesn’t train, and no one is there to call her on it, did she really skip practice?)

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the people who love me call me out when I’m not performing to my best, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t tick me off. So, while I may want to tackle this challenge independently and without criticism, I need to let that go because I’ve opened the door to it. I’ve let you all in.

You’ve stepped in to be hard on me when I’m being a softy, build me up when I’m being a negative nelly and call me out when I’m not meeting my potential.

I suppose I have to thank you for that. Even if I don’t always want to.

Days to go: 67

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The Benefits of Pride

This past weekend was the Seattle Gay Pride Festival. Three full days of rainbows, occasional nudity and folks being proud of exactly who they are.

I realized that throughout much of this journey I’ve started associated being prideful, with being pig-headed and un-changing. While I agree, that you can certainly be prideful to a fault — and I often am — there is something magical about being proud of yourself.

I mean, really, that’s the goal here, right? To cross the finish line, arms up, beaming with pride?

Today, I’m finally feeling healthy — back to my normal self — and that is such a good thing. It also means that it’s time to hit the training, hard. I know I’ve got a challenge ahead of me and I’ll be shocked if it doesn’t feel a bit like I’m starting over, but I’ll do my very best not to let my pride get the best of me. In the end, I suspect, I’ll end up feeling more than proud of myself for meeting the challenge head-on.

Days to go: 75

Erik and Oliver at the Pride Parade

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Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Well, I suppose I should start with an apology. I have truly been missing in action. Missing in action from the blog, training, my life (it feels like!). When a solider is missing in action, it often means (s)he has become a prisoner of war or has died and can’t be identified. Luckily, I still have two feet planted in Seattle and as far as I know, I’ve survived the past three weeks.

I’ve been hit with the worst case of June Flu/General un-wellness that I can ever remember. I’m heading into week three of hacking up a lung at night and feeling mediocre at best during the day.

I’m not a very good sick person (who is), I can spend about two days (tops!) laying around “healing” and then I’m ready to jump back into working, socializing and lately — training.

Well, let me just say, I’ve learned my lesson. What are the ways to guarantee a less-than-swift recovery? Galavanting in Chicago? Check. Diving right back into training (in a germ filled pool)? Check. Solo bike ride when you’re still feeling slightly feverish? Check, check.

It’s so tough to allow yourself to truly recover when you have this impending deadline of a race. Each missed practice starts to stock-pile and pretty soon you feel like there may not be any way to catch up. Two weeks off starts to feel like two months off and before you know it — you feel like you’re starting over.

It’s so easy to let our busy lives — work, friends, unexpected illness, whatever — dictate our decisions and before you know it, you’ve lived a whole week (or two) on someone else’s terms. I have to remind myself daily that training for this triathlon was something I chose for myself. This is a gift I’m giving myself, the gift of carving out time for myself, the gift of a healthy lifestyle, the gift of raising money to help cure cancer.

So, while I’m certainly sick and tired of being sick and tired, once I can breathe through both nostrils and get my heart rate up without hacking up a lung, I need to get back out there and starting chipping away at this challenge with the same (if not improved) gusto. Whether that’s chipping away from scratch or not.

Days to go: 80 (wow, that’s kind of terrifying!)

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MIA

I know. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ve been missing in action. Traveling, shin splints and a nasty bout of June flu have kept me away.

I promise a post is on it’s way!

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Family business

I always knew coming from a family of physical therapists would come in handy. My dad’s been working on my calves here at the cabin and I hope it leads to a speedy recovery! Today may be a holiday, but it’s a swim day for me. I’m looking forward to a nice low-impact workout.

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Back in the saddle

So, while I allow the inflammation in my legs to go down (through stretches, ice massage and rest), I need to rely on the bike and the pool to keep me in the groove. Today was my first day on the bike in almost two weeks. I’m not going to lie, it was seriously tough to be back in the saddle. I hadn’t realized how out of my routine I’d been until I got on the bike this afternoon and immediately felt like I was at the beginning all over again!

I rode 20 miles of hills hills and more hills with my parents today and I fought it the whole way, but now we’re back at the cabin, the workout is done and my dad is pouring the wine. Yeah, it was worth it. I’ll admit it.

As my dad says “you’ve got to dig your ditch” and I’m certainly digging mine! It certainly makes me think twice about missing/skipping workouts because you really do feel that missed workout.

It’s come to my attention that I’ve been a little negative lately. And you’re probably right — I’ve somehow gotten myself into this “poor me” place of thinking that I’m not doing as well as I’m supposed to be. And you know what? I’m calling BULL SHIT on that. It stops right now. I’ve put myself out there, I’m trying not one, not two, but THREE new things and I’ve fully committed to them. That is something that I will be proud of for the rest of my life. So, every time I come to this blog and I feel like I have some negative to say about myself or my progress I’m going to instead list three things that I’m proud of.

Today I’m proud of myself because:

1. I wanted to quit today on the hills. BADLY. And I didn’t. I never got off the bike. I finished the ride and I made it happen. HELL YES.
2. I didn’t want to ride in the first place. I was quite happy sitting on the couch with Oliver reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” but I got on the bike.
3. There is this massively steep hill that leads from our house at the beach to the main road. It’s too steep to ride but we have to walk up it with our bikes. I wanted to drive my car up (it’s about 28-30% grade and feels like it goes on forever), but I walked. I huffed and puffed and I made it up the hill. TAKE THAT!
4. (This one is a bonus) Today I’m especially proud of my friends and family for stepping up and bringing in the fundraising dollars!! I’m only $25 away from my halfway goal of $2000!! A special thanks to my most recent donors: Jill Goldsby, The Mathews, Uncle Billy and Aunt Mary and Paula Randolph for your support! Whoohooo!

Days to go: 105

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Three day weekend!

Three day weekend! Yippee! Ollie and I are headed to beach. The plan is lots of BBQ and lots of cycling.

My happy place

Have a good one folks!

Where's my ball?

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Diagnosed

Yesterday was a bad day. I think I freaked some of you out with my post. But damn, I just needed to get it out. I sat in my office and cried yesterday at the thought of going to running practice. Like I said, yesterday was a BAD day.

After I posted, many of you came out of the woodwork, offering support through the comments, texts, I even got two wonderful phone calls. It forced me to remember that I’m not alone in this and when I ask for help it will be answered.

My dad and I talked yesterday and he and I came up with a strategy for yesterday’s run. I was spending so much time focusing on others — what would they think if I was last, what if I held them up, what if, what if, what if — so we decided that I needed to refocus my attention. I needed to focus instead on what I can control which is:

1) How I’ll feel an hour after going for the run

2) How I’ll feel in DC when I conquer this

3) Doing what I can for the level that I’m at and calling it a success

I also confided in my dad how badly my calves were hurting me at practice, because unfortunately it’s not just at practice, I’m having leg pain all the time now. I knew something was wrong. So he sent me to the wonderful PTs over at Seattle PT and they took care of me. Fifteen minutes in their office and they knew exactly what was going on — shin splints (bad ones). Damn.

So feeling like I have rocks in my calves wasn’t just being out of shape, it was true blue pain from injury. It was both discouraging and a huge relief. Now I have a plan and some strategies to reduce the inflammation and move forward — hopefully pain free.

But the word came down from my PT Jeff  — no practice yesterday.

The silver lining in this is three-fold:

1) No stress fractures that we could find (yay!)

2) I’ll soon be able to move better aka not feel like I’m running in cement

3) A little bit of the fear has dissipated (having a plan will do that for you)

So onward and upward, right? We’re headed into a 3-day weekend and my parents have both promised to kick my butt on the bike at least twice. I’m completely fine with that!

Days to go: 108

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